Monthly Archives: February 2024
Romantic relationships commonly become highlighted during the teenage years, and I can choose to embrace these as an important, essential, and intricate part of my child’s development. I can choose to be involved through discussions and sharing about the reasons for starting, having, and ending many romantic experiences now, if it is his or her wish, so that she will have plenty of relationship experiences before fully committing to another in adulthood.
Do you believe this statement? “School is the perfect garden to grow your child.” So much happens in the school garden that it can be overwhelming to a student and to parents, but even the weeds (unwanted people, events, and situations), storms (tidal waves of academic projects and work), soil erosion (thinning of friends), overcrowding (too many people in your child’s business), and connecting (friendship and romantic relationships) are all important and purposeful for the highest good of your son’s present moment and her future.
Romance and romantic relationships are vital pieces of the human experience education for it is a rare person who ignores or chooses to decline this essential part of life. School is the perfect place to play out, explore, and learn from the budding relationships that exist in this awkward developmental stage if it is your child’s interest to do so. Be ready, be accepting, be involved, be positive, be encouraging, and be proactive for this important developmental and parental opportunity.
Middle School romantic relationships generally are short-lived from a couple of hours to a couple of days to a couple of weeks. It is an abnormality that middle school students date for long periods of time such as a whole year or years. Middle school romance is a hodgepodge of short-lived attraction/withdrawal events with plenty of sideline curiosity seekers ready to spread the word in lightning middle school whisper fashion. Seemingly, any coupling of any type of students will send shockwaves throughout a school. No matter how hard one tries to keep things quiet, it is nearly impossible for it to remain so with the hundreds of middle school romance antennas all attuned to and on high alert for this kind of behavior. For this reason, parental guidance is the necessary grounding energy to shift the attention from the gossip to the relationship’s learning.
Romance in middle school is a powerful parental opportunity no matter if it is your child in the relationship or not. Much guiding can be done with others’ experiences. Open, non-judgmental discussion is essential. Establish a “all conversation topics are allowed” climate in your home now if not already for this is the beginning of all other conversations. This is the beginning of guiding your child toward healthy relationships in the future. This is your powerful, parental opportunity now.
Reaching the place when you and your child understand, “You’re an ugly pig! And, you smell like one, too!” and what is really going on with such statements is a wonderful level of empowerment.
You will be amazed just how powerful this understanding is when your child interacts with the multiple people in his or her life with an already accepted perspective as well as an all-ready perspective on any negative statement. When a person has the previously prepared thought process ready-to-go when interacting with others, it is high level living, indeed, because social slandering, gossiping, and negative statements are not about you or your child, but about the other people’s relationship with soul-level happiness.
With the convenience of mass communication options also comes instant feedback, posting, and commenting on just about anything that happens globally. We now know within minutes or even seconds what is happening anywhere. It’s a blessing and a challenge. The audience for more interactions and reactions broadened globally with the internet. There are benefits and drawbacks. Since we are not returning to a pre-internet age, it is well worth the time and effort to delve into what is really happening behind negative comments and training oneself with an already accepted perspective as well as an all-ready perspective on any negative statement.
Removing the attention on the comment to drawing back the curtain to see the person who typed it, wrote it, or said it is a big empowerment step because it is a step that is challenging to do when being attacked or even just feeling attacked. It is possible to train you and your child to have a positive, loving automatic response. An example of such a response that immediately says, “This is a person who doesn’t feel 100% about him or herself otherwise the comment would never have been made.” is positive and loving because now the next response is to send love to the person who typed it, wrote it, or said it.
Just by doing these two steps (realizing what is really happening and sending love), the attention is on healing and far away from feeling attacked. This is empowerment at its best. It is an intentional shift toward sidestepping the comment’s negative energy to helping the sender who obviously needs love sent to him or her.
The kindest and easiest way to train oneself for this automatic response is with real life situations that are happening to others. When you hear or read about someone attacking another, stop, realize what is happening, and send love to the sender. Then, when it happens to you, you’ll be ready to shoot back love.