A Solution For Teen Negative Self-Talk
“I don’t have any friends.”
“I’m so fat.”
“No one likes me.”
“I can’t do this.”
“I’m horrible at ______________.”
When these statements are heard by parents, it is so disheartening because we understand the downward path our beloved children are on that could have serious, detrimental effect for years…sometimes, decades. Since the statements are being verbalized and heard by others, it is understood that the statements have been swirling around inside for a long time and now are coming out through the mouth. It’s a plea for help. They are statements that are really communicating, “I need assistance to bring myself back into balance.”
Many parents don’t know what to do because counterbalancing the statements is frustrating at best and isn’t effective. There aren’t enough “But, you ARE pretty” comments that can offset the “I’m ugly” statements so another strategy is warranted. Intervention is necessary.
While this seems to be a normal phase of the typical middle schooler and a “it’ll pass” parental attitude is common, I assure you that it doesn’t have to be this way. I have seen plenty of middle schoolers smartly bypass this typical behavior. They simply didn’t engage it. What is the difference between the two types of middle schoolers? Answer: at some conscious level, they not only knew about, but experienced a strong Divine personal power connection and nothing was going to separate them from their personal power.
Personal power has nothing to do with a family’s income, how busy a child is with empowering activities and experiences, how school-smart he or she is, or how many friends a child has. It has everything to do with knowing and experiencing an understanding about Who We Really Are.
Do you know Who You Really Are? Do you know Who Your Child Really is? Both of you are Divine spirits in borrowed body suits on life journeys trying to have the best experiences right now. I’m not kidding about the Divine part. You are literally Divine Droplets of Source who agreed to go through a veil of forgetfulness to have Earthly experiences/life journeys to fully experience what it means to be Divine. Part of this journey is forgetting we are Divine in order to experience the opposite so to realize we are Divine.
“Huh?” you say. I know it’s a bit crazy. It goes something like this: you can’t know Love without knowing the absence of it. Both are needed to fully understand Love. You can’t know up without knowing down. Both are needed to fully understand up. You can’t know hot water without knowing cold water. Both are needed to fully understand hot water. So re-membering our Divinity while on the Earthly journeys is what it is all about.
How do we remember or re-member? Our feelings are the guide. On the path back to knowing our Divinity feels really good. Good, positive vibes say, “Keep going. You’re on the right path.” Off the path back to knowing our Divinity doesn’t feel good. Negative, odd vibes say, “You’re off-track. Go in a different direction.”
When anyone or a middle schooler uses negative self-statements, it is pushing away from Divinity. It’ll feel off, odd, weird, yucky, and less-than-wonderful. Many people don’t know how to remedy the situation, which makes them feel even more off, odd, weird, yucky, and less-than-wonderful, which makes them say even more negative self-talk. It’s a downward spiral.
In addition, we live in an attraction-based environment so we are magnets to what we think about, talk about, feel, and believe. The negative self-talk creates a storm of negative vibes anyone who uses them. I see it as a constant dark cloud surrounding a person. There’s no escape from this situation other than understanding Who We Really Are (Divine), using feelings as guide, and understanding we are magnets always attracting to us those things we think, say, feel, and believe.
Now, knowing this information, any middle schooler is in charge of his or her vibration. It can only come from each person. This is why parental intervention of trying to counterbalance negative statements won’t work. The change comes from within the person once he understands that he IS Divine, that she has a guidance system that reveals if the self-talk is working for or against, and that he is a magnet pulling toward him the good stuff of life or the unwanted stuff of life or a combo of the same.
Middle schoolers are quite interested in personal power, getting the fun out of life, and living the good life so this conversation will be of keen interest to them. They want to know how to manipulate their lives for it to “totally rock.” This is how.